One of the strangest things post stroke was the abundance of tears that flowed… at everything and nothing… for months… really freaked me (and the family!) out!
I’ve never been someone who cried much so it was a bit unsettling. I let them flow freely, not that I had a choice really, and started to understand that they were a release. The stroke was a kind of nervous breakdown. Holding in all of the stress, trying to be positive and optimistic, solutions focussed, soldiering on until i couldn’t cope anymore. So many of us do this. The tears, I realised, was my body and nervous system saying whatever was happening in that moment was too much and needed to be let go.
As a coach I’ve worked with many clients on not just letting go but understanding where their power lies. What is in your control?! What can you change?! There is so much out of our control that we sometimes just need to accept or rather change how we think about it. This change of attitude, perception, is not always easy especially when the thing out of your control is imposing itself on you, invading your space, pushing your often unconscious buttons, and testing your boundaries. So, I too have been on this journey of change. Not easy.
The tears helped to release the tension, signal when I’d had enough, and focus on self-care. A pressure valve. Listening to my body. Communicating how I was feeling. I also started taking reishi mushroom supplements which really helped my nervous system repair itself. And, more than anything, I just started removing myself from toxic, negative environments and people. Just walking away. Call it self protection or self preservation but it really helped.
Part of the walking away involved claiming a space for me in our home. I’d never had a room of my own, always busy trying to support others create their room or space. After all, I had the office to go to. Now was my turn. I took over our attic, cleared out all of the crap, removed all of the shutters to create a cosy light filled space with views of the blue sky and verdant hills et voila, an art studio was born. Calm. Peace. Serenity.
With this space I’ve been able to start some art adventures, do a bit of art therapy to help heal my nervous system. I haven’t painted for years and what a joy to rediscover. I love playing with colours! You can follow my creative journey on Pinterest and Instagram. The first, very simple, abstract series I created was focussed on tears as I cried my way through recovery. You can find the ‘Teardrops’ series here. Hope you like them!
Wishing you a beautiful, colourful day!
Interesting fact: Did you know your tears taste different depending on the emotion being released? Check out this article on tears
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